Random Small Love Hina Fan Fiction Bites
by Daimyo Shi
Summary: A collection of small Love Hina Fan Fiction Bites that I have written to break my Writer's block. Cleaned up August 13th, 2005
1. Attack number one

Random Love Hina Fan fiction Bites.

By: Daimyo Shi

(This style of Fan-fiction seems to have been developed by Mr. Talon. Simply this is what happens when I try to fight writers' block.)

(thoughts)

-------------------------- change of fic bites.

"I would like to thank you for letting me use your computer Shi-kun." says Motoko.

"No problem, Let me gets a couple drinks for us. What would you like?" responds Daimyo Shi.

"A cherry Coke would be nice." replies Motoko.

"Ok." Daimyo Shi walks out of the room and down the stairs. Motoko opens the bookmark in Netscape to Motoko carefully reads through the Summaries of the Rurounin Kenshin Fan Fictions (1) printing several of them off for her latter reading. (I must get Shi-kun to Write more Kenshin fanfic. His stuff is so funny. I wonder if he can get Gypsy-chan to finish 'Kiss Me Again'.) thinks Motoko. She clicks on the log in link on fanfiction. (Oops, well it only another way at his profile anyway.) She hits the ok button which logs Daimyo Shi in. Motoko scrolls and sees the Favourite Stories section and clicks on that link. As she does that Kanako walks into the computer room.

"What are you doing here?" asks Motoko.

"What it does it look like, I am fighting my terrible boredom. I though maybe Shi-kun might let me print off some Galaxy Angels Fan fiction."

Motoko turns back to the screen she scrolls down to the title 'Senseless Kanako and Motoko Scenes!'

"Hey that looks interesting." remarks Kanako.

Motoko clicks on the link without comment and both Kanako and herself start reading.

"Kana Himezaki! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU! I AM NOT GAY!" shouts Motoko.

"I can't believe he wrote this." remarks Kanako.

"Hai, wait until I get my hands on him!" growls Motoko.

"I would never sleep with a smelly uncute (2) tom boy like you." says Kanako.

"Nani?" replies a puzzled Motoko "what did you say?"

"You, I never sleep with you because you are a very smelly uncute tomboy."says Kanako in a calm matter of fact voice.

"Hiken Zankuusen!" shouts Motoko as she uses her succession technique on Kanako. Kanako heads head first into the wall across from the doorway of Daimyo Shi's computer room. Daimyo Shi comes up the stairs with a tray with an A&W root beer, a Cherry Coke, and a box of chocolate Pocky. He looks at Kanako's body embedded in his wall and then continues up the stairs into the computer room where he puts down the tray.

"Shi-kun do I smell?" asks Motoko.

"No, not that I have ever noticed, Motoko-chan." replies Daimyo Shi.

"Good."

"I see that Kanako impacts wall just like Keitaro does, I wonder why."

"Maybe they learned it from the same master. Shi-kun can we play 'you don't know Jack?'"

"Sure." replies Daimyo Shi.

----------------------------------------

Kitsune stares at her arguing house mates. (They are arguing about what we should watch tonight.) thinks Kitsune.

"I want to watch Sailor Moon Super S" says Naru clutching a VHS box in her hand (3).

"Naru, you made us watch sailor Moon, the last two nights. Let us watch Rurounin Kenshin tonight." says Motoko.

"Su wants to watch G Gundum!"

"Figures you would want to watch that, I think we should watch Golden Boy!" remarks Kanako.

"Nee-chan why would you want to watch such an Ecchi series?" asks Keitaro.

Kanako responds with a predatory smile.

"We could watch Spirited Away." remarks Mutsumi.

Kitsune drains her cup of sake and pours herself a new one. (At this rate they will argue until 23:00 and we will all be going to bed anyway. We won't watch anything, I rather watch the Iron Chef reruns on Fuji TV.)

"I want to watch Pokamon" says Sara.

Several gaging sounds can be heard from Kitsune, Keitaro, and Kanako is response to Sara's choice.

"Kenshin." shouts Motoko.

"Sailor Moon." yells Naru.

"Golden Boy." growls Kanako

"G Gundum, G Gundum." shouts Su

"Ano . . ." says Shinobu.

Everyone turns to face Shinobu.

"Ano, could we watch Ping Pong Club (4)?" asks Shinobu.

Everyone looks at her kind of funny and then faints.

"What?" asks Shinobu to her now unconscious friends.

Keitaro could hear what sounded like a large argument. (As the manger of Hinata Sou I must find out and resolve it if I can. It is my duty!) thinks Keitaro. Keitaro walks through the hall into the main room of the inn. There he sees Motoko and Naru red in the face arguing like two members of the Japanese Diet. Naru is holding a DVD copy of 'Star Trek: First Contact'. Motoko is holding a VHS copy of 'Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back'.

"You are crazy Motoko, Star Trek is tons better than Star wars." shouts Naru.

"No way! Star Wars is ten times better than Star trek Naru." yells Motoko.

"Please give me a break, Star Wars is bunch of stuff stolen for a number of other science fiction sources and cobbled together." says Naru.

"Like Star Trek is any better, please ever seen the Forbidden Planet lots of that is Star Trek, Further they keep reusing the same idea over and over again. How many Rome-based stories were there again?" exclaims Motoko.

"Star Trek Rules, Star Bores Sucks!" yells Naru.

"Star Wars Rocks, Star Drek bites."shouts Motoko.

Keitaro watches in stunned amazement as the two argue about it. The Sensible part of his mind tells him not to touch this with a 20-foot clown pole. However, duty pushes him into the fray. "Motoko-chan, Narusegawa, there is no need to fight about this. It is all a matter of opinion." remarks Keitaro.

"Really Keitaro, which do you like better?" ask Naru and Motoko at the same time.

"Well, neither really, I am more of a Babylon 5 Fan. (5)"

Naru punches and Motoko slashes sending Keitaro into low earth orbit. (I just can't ever say anything right.) thinks Keitaro.

---------------------------------

Naru was coming home from some shopping. After she climbs the stairs, she finds Kentaro, holding a bouchee of flowers being chased by Keitaro, who is holding Motoko's Katana. Behind him is Motoko chasing after Keitaro.

"Give me back my Katana, Urishima!" yells Motoko.

"I never let it happen, Kentaro! I will kill you first!" screams Keitaro.

Naru walks up to Shinobu who is watching it from the front door.

"Shinobu, what is going on?" asks Naru.

"Oh Kentaro came looking for Haruka-san because he wanted to date her. Urishima-senpai overheard this and snatched Motoko-senpai Katana out of her hand and started to chase Kentaro around the inn. Of course Motoko has been trying to get back her Katana. They have at it for nearly an hour." remarks Shinobu.

"Oh, I see. I check back after I put everything away." says Naru.

"Ok, I never knew Urishima-senpai has such stamina." remarks Shinobu. (6)

Notes love these don't you?

(1) I think Motoko would be a Rurounin Kenshin fan.

(2) Uncute is trademarked and copyrighted by Ranma Saotome

(3) I don't like Sailor Moon and I don't like Naru so perfect combo, ne?

(4) For those that don't know Ping Pong Club is a very messed up anime. This part of my little Shinobu isn't quite as innocent as she appears characterization.

(5) I like Star Trek over Star wars myself, but honestly I have nothing against Star Wars. I never was able to watch Babylon 5 but I picked it because let's face it Keitaro has to go into orbit in this little fic.

(6) This is a direct result of the aftermath of a fic bite in 'Totally Random Love Hina Skits!' by Andrew Joshua Talon where Shinobu greets Keitaro at the door.


	2. Attack Number Two

Random Love Hina Fan fiction Bites.

By: Daimyo Shi

This style of Fan-fiction seems to have been developed by Mr. Talon. Simply this is what happens when I try to fight writers' block.

I don't own Love Hina. sigh

(thoughts)

-------------------change of fic bites.

Motoko finished packing up her Kendo gear. Checking to make sure she had keys and wallet. She then left her room with her Kendo gear in hand and walked down the stairs. She turns down the hall leaving her Kendo Gear by the door. She continues down the hall to the very end and knocks once on the door before opening it. Motoko opens the door and sees Daimyo Shi turned around looking at her. The sounds of Max Him's Japanese Girl(1) carry through the room daimyo Shi looks at Motoko first then to his CD player. He smiles at Motoko Fighting aback a laugh.

Motoko Looks at him a bit puzzled and then says "You want to come to the open Kendo Tournament, Shi-kun?"

"Yes, Yes of course." Daimyo Shi gets up and quickly finds his own Kendo Gear and picks it up.

"Shall we go?"

"Sure." says a Slightly puzzled Motoko.

Both, Motoko and Daimyo Shi walk down the hall towards Motoko's Kendo Stuff.

----------------------------------------

Keitaro and Daimyo Shi are drinking ice tea out in front of Hakaru's Tea shop.

"Hey Keitaro, you ever wonder what would happen if we took the Girls to Mardi Gras in New Orléans?" asks Daimyo Shi.

"Hmmmm, I die of blood loss likely." says Keitaro.

"Well if you got laid before the trip that wouldn't happen."

"And who is going to lay me?" asks Keitaro.

"Well . . . I not sure."

"Kitsune and Mutsumi would get so many beads that we would get stuck carrying them, Shi." says Keitaro.

Daimyo Shi takes a sip of tea. "All to True!"

"What is this about beads and Mardi Gras, Keitaro?" says a Cross Naru.

Keitaro looks behind him with some apprehension and looks at a very mad Naru and a none too pleased Motoko. Daimyo Shi remains oblivious to either girl and answers Naru's question. "We were just talking about what would happen if we took the Girls to Mardi gras. Kitsune and Mutsumi would clean up with the beads there."

"Keitaro! Shi-Kun" shoat Naru and Motoko as they send Keitaro and Daimyo Shi up to see the international Space Station.

Keitaro was going down the stairs. unfortunately he slipped on a banana peal which sent him tumbling down the stairs and colliding with his Aunt Haruka sending the content of a box in her hands al over the place. Something lands on Keitaro's face, he removes it and find that is a pair of black PVC panties. He blushes slightly as he looks around a number of leather, rubber and PVC undergarments.

"Yours Oban-san?"

"It is Haruka" as she hits Keitaro. "Hai."

She begins picking up everything up. Keitaro fights off a nosebleed as he thinks (I never knew that Oban-san was a Hentai.) Keitaro beats a hasty retreat to his room.

"Well it is a nice day for a soak in the hot springs" says Naru to Kitsune. The two girls walk towards the hot springs door meeting Motoko on the way.

"Ready for a hot springs soak?" asks Kitsune.

"Yes, it shall be well received after my kenjutsu practice today." replies Motoko

Kitsune, Motoko, and Naru enter the changing room and change into their towels. They then enter the bath only to see Seta climb out of it completely naked.

"Oops, I though you were not going to be back for another hour?" says Seta.

The girls barely hear them as they retreat quickly. Naru and Motoko are clutching their noses with blood dripping from there hands. Kitsune while not bleeding has turned Japanese Flag red. (By the kami, he is superb) thinks Kitsune.

Keitaro chuckles from his vantage point (Now they know what it is like.)

Seta give Keitaro a Thumbs up. (2)

Motoko, Kitsune, Keitaro, Shinobu, Mutsumi and Daimyo Shi are sitting in the main room at Hinata Sou looking extremely bored.

"Man, there is nothing to do today." says Kitsune.

"We could watch a movie?" suggests Mutsumi.

"That sounds like an idea. What should we watch?" asks Motoko.

"Well I have a copy of Grave of the Fireflies. We could watch that." says keitaro.

"I have been advised not to watch that movie."(3) says Daimyo Shi.

"Why? It is a very good movie Shi-kun." says Motoko.

"Yes, So I have heard. However, I have been told by several of my friends to not see it because I would lose even more respect for the US and it policies of targeting civilians during the war. Given the number of debates I have fought in over the years about Atomic weapons use by the US during World War Two and the firebombing done to Japan. I would rather not get even more galvanised against the US." explains Daimyo Shi

"I see, why are you so attainment with you stance about US bombing, Shi-senpai" asks Shinobu.

"Because in war it is unhonourable to target Civilians. Further, Atomic and nuclear weapons should never be used. Personally I have my doubts on whether that Atomic weapons would have ever been used on Germany even if they had been developed in time." replies Daimyo Shi

"War is seldom honourable, Shi-kun." remarks Motoko.

"There are some rules that should not be broken. One should not vaporous civilians in a blink of an eye because you can." says Daimyo Shi plainly.

"Well how about we watch the Cowboy bebop Movie?" asks Kitsune.

"Ano, Kitsune, haven't you watched that ten times?" asks Shinobu.

"Well . . . maybe, but I could stand watching it again." says Kitsune

"Yeah, Spike is like Seta except Ten time cooler." teases Daimyo Shi.

"Hey, that is no fair." says Kitsune.

"Well life seldom is!" laughs Daimyo Shi.

"Still Faye is easy on the eyes.' remarks Keitaro.

Motoko flashes Keitaro a stern look.

"Well if you like that kind of thing." corrects Keitaro.

Daimyo Shi mouths to Keitaro 'chicken!'

"Well there is always Napoleon's Dictionary."says Mutsumi.

"Hey, I am up for that!" responds Kitsune.

"Me too." says Keitaro.

"Lupin III rules.' says Daimyo Shi

"Well I was going to suggest Ninja Scroll but Lupin is fine." says Shinobu. Everyone looks at here funny for a moment.

"It would seem that Napoleon's Dictionary is a good choice." says Motoko.

Mutsumi pulls the DVD from her bag and sets it up in they player.

Keitaro comes in the living room of Hinata Sou to see Shinobu watching a very violent fight between A vampire and some kind of wizard/warrior. Blood is spattered all over. Shinobu seems so engross into it.

"Shinobu-chan what are you watching?" asks Keitaro.

"Bastard!! (4)" giggles Shinobu.

"Bastard!!? is that . . . uh . A little mature for you?" says keitaro.

"I never though about it. Dark Schneider is so Kawaii!

"Ok says Keitaro backing out of the room.

Notes (love these don't you?. Please read them!)

(1) Max Him's Japanese Girl is about a Gaijin that is in love with a Japanese girl while in Japan.

(2)Poetic Justice I think!

(3) I seriously have been advised by several of my friend not to watch this movie because it would likely make me more angry at the US for their actions during World War Two. Please don't tell me how wrong I am or how justified the US was it will not fly with me. You have better luck converting a Zen priest to Islam than to change my mind

(4) Bastard!! Is an Anime and manga that is very cool!

Japanese Terms

Kendo (literary Way of the Sword)A sport Martial art based on Kenjutsu of the old samurai.

Oban-san Aunt

Hentai Pervert

Kenjutsu A sword Technique, normal based on the lethal sword techniques of the Samurai. While Kendo is a sport Kenjutsu remains true to its lethal roots. Motoko practice a demon slaying kenjutsu technique as well as her kendo training at school.

Kawaii Cute


	3. Attack number three

Random Love Hina Fan fiction Bites.

By: Daimyo Shi

(This style of Fan-fiction seems to have been developed by Mr. Talon. Simply this is what happens when I try to fight writers' block.)

Upstart eh Talon? We shall see!

I don't own Love Hina. No free stuff for me!

(thoughts)

-------------------------- change of fic bites.

Daimyo Shi is sitting in front of his computer working away at some fan fiction. (Why do I write everything out long hand first and then type it up?) thinks Daimyo Shi.

Keitaro slams open the door to Daimyo Shi's room.

"What is wrong, Keitaro?" asks Daimyo Shi without turning around.

"Hey, how did you know it was me?" says Keitaro.

"I can sense your Ki. Besides only you or Naru would open my door like that."

"Huh? Asks Keitaro.

"Anyway why are you here?" asks Daimyo Shi

Keitaro remembers that he is mad and then stomps up to Daimyo Shi and puts several pages of paper in his face, it is a copy of 'Keitaro's Second Worse Nightmare.' "What is this?" shouts Keitaro.

"A Fan fiction I wrote?" says Daimyo Shi.

"This nearly got me killed!"

"Hey, I had Mutsumi protect you, you didn't even get hit in the whole thing."

"Not then Baka, Now when Naru found it!" shouts Keitaro.

"Only Naru would get mad of a fan fic." says Daimyo Shi.

"Naru won't speak to me." grumbles Keitaro.

"Well take out Mutsumi then she won't mind."

"Have you forgotten that I love Naru?"

"Well there is no accounting for some tastes." says Daimyo Shi with a wicked smile.

"Hey! So what are you going to do about it?" asks Keitaro.

"Well have you tried flowers?" asks Daimyo Shi.

"Uh, no, I am broke." says Keitaro.

"All right then." Daimyo Shi digs in his wallet for some Yen and hands Keitaro 8000 yen. "Here this should cover it."

"Alright, Daimyo Shi you are the best!" says Keitaro leaving Daimyo Shi room.

"I am such a sap." says Daimyo Shi turning back to his fanfiction.

-----------------------------------

A Look of pure, unaltered malice is etched on the dark yet beautiful face of Urashima Kanako as she looks at her Nemesis across from her, Narugawa Naru, who sported a look of determination on her face.

"Roll" says Naru.

Kanako rolls three dice. "5, 4, 4"

Naru rolls Two dice "6, 5" Says Naru "You lose two."

"Bah!" shouts Kanako.

Kanako rolls her dice again on a 40th anniversary Risk Board. Kanako's black pieces hold most of the board while Naru's Pink pieces hold the rest of the board. A Large mass of Black pieces on Eastern Europe denotes where Kanako is fighting.

"6, 4, 3" says Kanako.

"5, 5" says Naru "you lose one."

Several rolls later Kanako is force to stop her advance do to a lack of men a vast section of the board is covered in Single men board spaces.

Naru turns in a set of Cards. "It is worth 45 armies, Kanako." smirks Naru

"Go!" growls Kanako.

After Several great rolls from Naru, it comes down to Kanako's last three armies in Japan.

"If I hold out Naru, My next set is worth more than enough to wipe you from the board." says Kanako.

"We shall see." says Naru calmly.

A pouting Motoko, a grouchy looking Daimyo Shi, a neutral Shinobu and a far too happy looking Keitaro watch the match.

"I can't believe that I was the first one out." says Motoko.

"Hey, don't look at me Shinobu knocked you out not me." says Daimyo Shi.

"Sorry, Motoko-senpai, I guess it was beginner's luck." says Shinobu.

Naru rolls three dice. "Shit! 3, 2, 2" says Naru.

Kanako smiles and rolls her dice. They come up snake eyes. Kanako blinks twice "Nani?"

"You lose two!" says Naru.

"Roll your last dice!" growls Kanako.

Naru rolls her Dice and three sixes come up "Woah, Box car city!" shouts Naru.

Kanako growls again and rolls her die. It comes up with a one.

"What the hell! How could that happen again? What are the odds?!" says Kanako.

"I win! I Win!" Naru jumps up and down.

------------------------------------------------------

There was a Knocking at Motoko's door

"Come in." says Motoko.

Keitaro opens the door and looks at Motoko "I challenge you to a duel."

"A duel? Urashima, you will lose I do not have a cold today!"

"But I have chosen the terms this time." says Keitaro with a mad cackle.

"Suit yourself Urashima." Motoko follows Keitaro down the stairs.

Keitaro looks at the screen on his side it says 18 wins on Motoko's it says 0 wins.

"I can't believe you are doing this badly at Bushido Blade 2 Motoko-chan." remarks Keitaro

-----------------------------------

As Keitaro and Talon flee the mad collection of women they see Su and Sarah dart down the hall.

"Quick after them!" shouts Talon. "We can fix ourselves if we get that gun"

"Are you sure?" Says Keitaro.

"Hey it the best idea I have about it so far."

"I going to get you Talon and Keitaro!" shouts Naru.

Appearing from the hall that Su and Sarah just ran out of is a very busty woman dressed in a black kimono and grey hakama with a Katana in her hand. "You Brats get the hell back here!" shouts the woman.

"Woah, who is that?" says Keitaro.

"Holy shit!" Says Kitsune "Her breasts are bigger than Mutsumi."

The girl dashes after Su and Sarah with Keitaro and Talon following right behind.

"Who is that? Asks Naru.

"Well she was carrying Daimyo Shi's Katana and that was Daimyo Shi's Kimono." says Motoko.

"Daimyo Shi was changed into a woman?" says Mutsumi.

Down the Hall Daimyo Shi was running in chase of Su and Sarah. (How the hell do women run with these breasts!) thinks Daimyo Shi as his breasts shake in his/her kimono. Su and Sarah dash a head only to find that it is a dead end.

"I have you now, you Brats!" smiles Daimyo Shi evilly.

In a fit of desperation Sarah grabs Daimyo Shi's Obi pulling on it ripping it off. Daimyo Shi's hakama comes down tripping him up allowing for a change of direction for Su and Sarah. Daimyo Shi quickly gets up and dashes after the two young girls his kimono open.

(I am glad I have Boxers on today.) thinks Daimyo Shi

Su and Sarah skid to a halt since Keitaro and Talon are in front of them.

"Got you" smiles Talon as he grabs Su. Sarah manages to get pass Keitaro.

"Well you got the important one!" says Daimyo Shi.

Keitaro looks at Daimyo Shi in his/her open kimono and sees those large breasts. He promptly gets a gusher of a nose bleed. Talon trying on keeping Su in his grip and doesn't look. However, Naru arrives "Keitaro you pervert!" and promptly punches Keitaro through the roof and into the sky.

"Shi-kun, you should cover yourself." says Motoko with a blush.

Daimyo Shi look down and sees his/her breast. "Oh yeah, forgot." Daimyo Shi holds his Kimono close.

"Fix it Su." says Daimyo Shi.

"Ok." giggles Su. Su shots the gun at Daimyo Shi and changes him back to a man.

"Now me!" says Talon.

Su hit him with the gun's ray and he turns back into his loveable male were-tiger self.

Daimyo Shi Grabs the gun from Su. "Talon, we have to go find Keitaro before some guy comes onto him."

"Wait, we haven't dealt with Talon for his perversions." says Naru Cracking her knuckles.

"I have a Sex change ray gun, Naru, and I not afraid to use it." says Daimyo Shi.

Naru backs off. Motoko stands her ground "Talon must be dealt with, Shi-kun."

"Motoko-chan, Keitaro is danger, as my friend I must save him. My honour demands it. I need Talon to help me. You wouldn't ask me to stain my honour, would you?" says Daimyo Shi.

"No, I guess not." says Motoko sheathing her Katana.

Daimyo Shi and Talon run out into the night to find Keitaro.

Notes (love these don't you?)

(1) this is based on the second Chapter of Talon's own Second chapter of 'Totally Random Love Hina Skits'. Let it not be said that the man is not full of interesting ideas

Japanese Terms

Obi A belt for a Kimono.

-chan, honorific means small or little often used between parents and children, sometime between friends can be use between lovers too.

-kun, Sort of a male version of Chan but more masculine often used between friends Shi and older people to boys that they know. Kei-kun is a favourite of Mutsumi for Keitaro.

San is Mister or Miss, a polite way to address an inferior or an equal. Note that both this and sama are used with a family name which in Japan comes first

Katana: A Japanese long Sword that has a slightly curved blade, between 80cm and 90cm in Blade length. The sword and soul of a samurai.


	4. Attack Number Four

Random Love Hina Fan fiction Bites.

By: Daimyo Shi

This style of Fan-fiction seems to have been developed by Mr. Talon. Simply this is what happens when I try to fight writers' block.

I don't own Love Hina. Hey if Keitaro wants Naru he can have her! We all know Motoko is the most beautiful woman at the Hinata Sou! (I am sorry, Kitsune, Shinobu and Mutsumi, no offence.)

(thoughts)

--------------------------------- change of fic bites.

Talon and Daimyo Shi are charging through the streets of Hina city, looking for Keitaro, who is still a girl because of Su's Sex change gun.

"Where could he me?" asks talon.

"I am not sure, but with Keitaro's luck he in the worse place he could possibly be right now." replies Daimyo Shi.

"Where is that?" asks Talon.

"I am not sure. Anyway he seems to have gone further than he normally does." says Daimyo Shi

"Well he can't be that much further. We should find him soon." say Talon.

As Talon and Daimyo Shi turn the corner the See Keitaro and a large Japanese man make him very uncomfortable.

"Come on sweetness, you can't tell me you aren't in the mood, look how you are dressed (1). It says 'you want to Fuck'"

"No." Screams Keitaro trying to back away from the man.

"Hey Baka, over here." says Daimyo Shi as he waves at the large Japanese man,

"What the?!(2)" responds the large Japanese man.

"Uh was that wise?" asks Talon. "You don't have you katana or bokken."

"Of course!" says Daimyo Shi with an evil smirk.

"Ok." says talon hesitantly.

"I'll be back after I deal with the so called heros over there." says the large Japanese man as he moves towards Talon and Daimyo Shi. Talon falls into a battle stance while Daimyo Shi hardly moves.

"Hey, Shithead, I am ashamed to be the same sex as you. You are a disgrace!" shouts Daimyo Shi.

"Uh . . . Will this plan get any better?" asks Talon.

"Why I am going brake both of you in half." says the large man as he continues his approach.

"Yeah, Right." says Daimyo Shi whit a Evil smirk as he flips the switch on sex change gun to change.

"That high tech toy doesn't scare me. I still break you in half." says the large Japanese man.

"That is what you think." says Daimyo Shi just before firing the sex change gun.

The beams strikes the man and changes him a tall surprisingly beautiful woman if somewhat butch looking. His cloths hang awkwardly on his/her body.

"Ahh! Undo, Undo!" says the man now woman in a voice a whole octave higher.

Talon Grabs Keitaro "Come on, let's Go!" Daimyo Shi follows behind them.

A block or two later talon stops everyone. "Hey Daimyo Shi, are you going to turn him back?"

"Nani? Why should I?" asks Daimyo Shi.

"You will ruin his life!" says Talon.

"So, how many lives has he shattered?" says Daimyo Shi.

"Maybe none!"

"Talon he is lucky, if I had my Katana he would have been dead. Aku Soku Zan after all."

"That is cruel, Daimyo Shi." says Talon with a sour expression.

"Talon that man was going to . . ." says Keitaro halfway before losing his words. After a moment he recovers "Thank you Talon and Daimyo Shi for coming and saving me."

"Hey Keitaro, we are your friends we had to save you. Speaking of which don't move." says Daimyo Shi as he flips the switch to restore on the gun. And shoots it at Keitaro. Keitaro returns to the lovable male ronin that we all love.

"I can't believe you are going leave that man like that Daimyo Shi."

"Believe it Talon, his kind deserve no mercy anyone that engages in that kind depravity deserves far worse. I hope he encounters many men just like him, maybe then he will understand."

"But that is Inhuman."

"Hai, however it was the wrath of heaven. They guided us to him so that he could be punished." says Daimyo Shi.

Talon grabs for the gun "Give it here I will turn him back."

"Eii, No it is heaven's choice to punish him." says Daimyo Shi tugging back on the gun.

"Give it here!" says Talon as he pulls on it.

"Talon stop pulling on it remember I don't care if it breaks."

They Struggle over it for a couple minute before the strain become to much and it breaks into several pieces.

"Hah! I win!" says Daimyo Shi.

"D'oh" says Talon

Talon Grumbles as the three of them get back to Hinata Sou. As the enter inside they see everyone sitting inside in the main tv room waiting for them.

"What happened?" Asks Kitsune.

"Well we found Keitaro being propositioned by a man so Daimyo Shi turned him in to a girl while I grabbed Keitaro, then we change Keitaro back and I got into a fight with Daimyo Shi because he wouldn't turn the man back into a man. . ."

"Bah, he doesn't deserve to get changed back." says Daimyo Shi.

"Talon why you have to tell them." says Keitaro with his head in his hands.

"A guy came on to you Keitaro?" asks Shinobu.

"Well he was dressed only in a towel because Naru sent flying into space" says Kitsune.

"Hey was he being perverted." says Naru defensively.

"Regardless, Daimyo Shi and I got into a fight over the gun and broke it. I sorry Su."

"That is ok, Su will just move on to something else anyway." says Su.

"I don't know why you have such a problem about. You act like I killed him." says Daimyo Shi.

"What you did was totally inhumane."

"What he was going to Keitaro should have a death penalty and even that is too good for them." says Daimyo Shi.

"I agree with Shi-kun, what that man would have done makes him not worth having any mercy for." says Motoko.

Kanako Crosses her arms and says "I have to agree, such men should be tortured to death."

"What you can't just sentence him to that punishment like that. As much as I hate at anytime agreeing with Talon. I have to agree that it was wrong for Daimyo Shi to past judgement, who gave you the right to punish people for what hey might have done." says Naru.

"Heaven allowed me to find Keitaro at the exact time where I could past judgement and when Keitaro was not yet harmed. How can I deny the will of heaven. The kami guide me there knowing exactly how I would react." replies Daimyo Shi.

"What is done, is done." says Haruka "Whatever the outcome of Daimyo Shi's actions they are done. His action are his alone, try to judge him so harshly. He is a man of deep feeling. Clearly he finds those who would force themselves on women to be worthless. In the end however it come down to one cannot change the past."

"There is a beautiful moon out Motoko, did you want to go for a walk."

"Certainly Shi-kun." says Motoko.

Motoko and Daimyo Shi leave to go for a walk around the inn.

"How can he just proceed like everything is normal. He ruined a life out there." says Talon.

"Talon, you did what you could, there is no reason for you to feel guilty. Daimyo Shi's actions are his own. No one else should feel guilty his actions." say Keitaro.

"So what do you think of his actions?" asks Talon.

"Well he saved me and I am grateful for that . . . I can't say that part of me is not sad to see that man was punished, but I have to admit that it doesn't quite seem right to just leave that man as a woman either. However, I not going to let it bother me either, Daimyo Shi made his choice. There is little I could do about it." says Keitaro.

"Talon, I know it bothers you but you need to just let it go." says Haruka. "It will do you know good to worry about it. there is little that can be done."

"I guess."

Kanako was in the kitchen early one morning working on breakfast.

Shinobu comes in and says "Kanako what are you doing up so early?"

"I am making onii-chan's breakfast." says Kanako.

"But I make Urashima-senpai's breakfast!" demands Shinobu.

"He is my onii-chan, not yours!" says Kanako.

"But I always make him breakfast!" shouts Shinobu.

"So what little one!" says Kanako with an acid tongue.

"You bitch, get out of my kitchen!" says Shinobu as she leaps at Kanako.

Keitaro hears the noise in the kitchen and runs into it. He finds Shinobu and Kanako fighting on the kitchen floor.

"What they hell is going on?" asks Keitaro.

"she's not letting me make you your breakfast." say both Shinobu and Kanako at the same time.

"Nani?" says Keitaro "You are fighting over making me breakfast? That is . . ." Keitaro breaks out in laughter

"Senpai?" says Shinobu.

"Onii-chan?" says Kanako.

"Alright both of you get up. Now Kanako why didn't you just ask Shinobu. You know she always make everyone's breakfast."

Kanako crosses her arms "Because I knew she wouldn't let me."

"You didn't even ask her though?" says Keitaro.

"It my job to make Senpai his breakfast. He works so hard to deal with everything that goes wrong with Hinata Sou. It is the least I can do for Senpai." says Shinobu.

"Thank you Shinobu-chan, however today I make breakfast. And you to should sort this out calmly for tomorrow." says Keitaro as he begins gather what he needs for breakfast.

"Hai onii-chan." says Kanako.

"Hai Urashima-senpai.

Daimyo Shi was eating a Daifuku on the roof deck on a quiet moon lit night. There was a light summer breeze coming from the water. All and all it was a wonderful night to simple look at the stars and think about life.

(Such a strange realm of Chaos embraces Hinata Sou. I can't help but be drawn to the chaos. I find it strangely comforting. I guess that is why I say.)

Note:

(1) At this point Keitaro is still dressed only in a towel, that likely is in poor shape because of his landing.

(2) What the ?! Is Trademarked by Marvel Comic Entertainment, Check it out True Believer in your local Comic store bins. 'Nuff said, Excelsior!

Japanese Terms

nani: What

Aku Soku Zan: According to Rurounin Kenshin it was the Shinsengumi's motto it means Evil Slay swiftly

Hai yes

Daifuku a red bean filled rice cake, quite sticky and very sweet. The only thing that a westerner will find odd about it is having bean skins in the red bean paste in it. they are very yummy I had one yesterday!

Onii-chan: Big brother

-chan, honorific means small or little often used between parents and children, sometime between friends can be use between lovers too.

-kun, Sort of a male version of Chan but more masculine often used between friends Shi and older people to boys that they know. Kei-kun is a favourite of Mutsumi for Keitaro.

San is Mister or Miss, a polite way to address an inferior or an equal. Note that both this and sama are used with a family name which in Japan comes first

Senpei: senior student


	5. Attack number Five

Random Love Hina Fan fiction Bites.

By: Daimyo Shi

This style of Fan-fiction seems to have been developed by Mr. Talon. Simply this is what happens when I try to fight writers' block.

I don't own Love Hina. Hey if Keitaro wants Naru he can have her! We all know Motoko is the most beautiful woman at the Hinata Sou! (I am sorry, Kitsune, Shinobu and Mutsumi, no offence.)

(thoughts)

----------------- change of fic bites.

Motoko looks over her hand, "Fine I will Iaijutsu challenge your Doji Domatai with my Doji Kurohito." Motoko places the Iaijutsu Card from her hand.

"Ok I accept." says Daimyo Shi. "Reactions to the duel?"

"No" says Motoko.

"Ok then I will focus." says Daimyo Shi.

"How many card you have?" says Motoko.

"One left in my fate hand." says Daimyo Shi.

"I see, focus then." says Motoko with an evil smile.

"Then I will Strike." says Daimyo Shi.

"Nani?" says Motoko.

"Yeah I focussed a Kharmatic Strike. This duel is a tie no matter what you focussed and Domatai wins ties!" says Daimyo Shi with a evil smile.

"Kuso!" snarls Motoko "I can believe it. I though you were out of those."

"I tied that first duel with that focus of four that first duel." says Daimyo Shi. "I will gain five honour for that. Bring my total up to 43. I will win my next turn unless you take two provinces."

"Kuso, Ahou. I don't have 12 force now that Doji Kurohito is dead." says Motoko. "You win."

"Don't feel bad Motoko you only been playing for a couple days and I am the one that taught you. When you got Doji Kurohito out I though I was finished. I only picked up the Strike last turn. I don't have a Duel in my hand. So I would have been finished. My last card was Egg of P'kun. Without a challenge I would have been finished."

"I guess so ." says Motoko.

Shinobu walks into the room and asks "What is that Daimyo Shi-sensei?"

"It is a game called Legend of the Five Rings. It is a Collectible Card game." says Daimyo Shi.

"Like Yugi-oh?" asks Shinobu.

"Well sort of it L5R is much more in-depth and harder than Yugi-oh. There is a level of strategy far above Yugi-oh's."

"Can you teach me to play, Daimyo Shi-sensei." asks Shinobu.

"Sure, Motoko can help you while we play."says Daimyo Shi.

"Ok." says Shinobu as she sits down at the table.

-----------------------------

Keitaro comes into Daimyo Shi's room storming.

"What is the meaning of this?" says Keitaro with venom in his voice waving a piece of paper in Daimyo Shi's face.

"I don't know quit waving it in my face and let me read it, Ahou." says Daimyo Shi. Daimyo Shi grabs the paper "Oh, it is a fan fiction of what I think you third worse nightmare is."

"Do you have any idea how mad Naru was when she found it?"

"Well given Naru, she sent you on a trip to near Earth orbit." says Daimyo Shi matter of factly.

"Yes and it hurt! But that not the worse of it. Shinobu found it too." says Keitaro.

"Really? How did she react." says Daimyo Shi with concern. "Did she cry."

"No . . . actually she got this evil look in her eye and giggled." says Keitaro, his anger replaced with fear.

"Well I guess she is a little older now (3). Maybe you should get a lock on you room door." says Daimyo Shi.

"Maybe that is a good idea." says Keitaro as he leave Daimyo Shi's room.

Daimyo Shi snickers to himself, "That would be interesting to see. Perhaps I should encourage her."

---------------------------------------------

Haruka walks into the main room of Hinata Sou and finds instead of the normal chaos that everyone is quietly enjoying themselves. The only thing that seems common in the calm is several decks of Green and Black Decks. Motoko and Shinobu are playing a game with the cards. The face up cards on Motoko's side seem to be mostly Blue where as Shinobu's are greyish black combo. Keitaro and Kitsune seems to be engaged in some kind of trading. Daimyo Shi and Kanako are also playing a game. Daimyo Shi's Cards are Blue like Motoko's but Kanako's Cards are red. Lastly Mutsumi and Naru seem to be open White coloured packs getting out more cards.

Haruka takes a puff on her cigarette and says "What has got you all so quiet?"

"Daimyo Shi introduced us to a Collectible Card Game called Legend of the Five Rings. It is a fantasy realm based on Samurai and a mix of Chinese and Japanese Myth." says Shinobu. "It is way cool!"

"Oh really?" says Haruka with an arched Eyebrow.

"Would you like to learn to Play, Hakura-san?" says Naru.

"Perhaps later." Haruka walks away, (How could anything get rid of the Chaos around here? Let alone a card game.)

----------------------------------

Shinobu, Mutsumi, Motoko, Daimyo Shi, Kitsune and Kanako are sitting around in the living room.

"I am bored, I can't believe the Cable has been knocked out." says Kitsune

"Well lets make the best of it how about a playing a game since it raining so hard outside." says Daimyo Shi.

"Oh I know how about guess the Movie quote. One says a move quote and the rest of use guess what it from. If you get it right you get to pick the next quote if you stump everyone then you get to pick another hopefully easier quote." says Mutsumi in a near sing song voice.

"Sounds good, Kanako are you going to play?" asks Daimyo Shi.

Kanako who was sitting away from everyone looking pissed looks up at the Canadian author and see his smiling face. "I guess." says Kanako is a flat voice.

"It was you idea, Mutsumi so you start.

"Ok then! (In a British accent) he must be a king. (Different male voice) How do you Know?

(Return to the first voice) he doesn't have shit all over him."

Will everyone looks very puzzled Daimyo Shi looks like he ready to explode before giving the answer.

"That is sooooo Easy Mutsumi! Monty Python and the Holy Grail!" says Daimyo Shi.

"You right Shi-kun, you turn." says Mutsumi.

"Ok how about this, 'If there is a steady paycheck, I will believe anything you want.'"

"I know that one!" announces Kanako "Ghostbusters!"

"Good! Your turn Kanako!" says Daimyo Shi

"Ok here goes 'Now they shall know why they fear the Darkness, now they shall know why the fear the night.'" says Kanako with a evil smirk.

"OH I know that one! Conan the Barbarian!" says Shinobu. Everyone looks at the cute violet haired girl with disbelief.

"What?" says Shinobu.

"Your turn little one." says Kanako.

"I hate people that think so little of their worth." says Shinobu in her imitation of a man's voice.

The Hinata sou group carefully ponders it until Motoko speaks "Ninja Scroll."

"Correct Senpai!" says Shinobu.

"I am Mad North by northwest when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw." says Motoko in a slight English accent.

"The talented Mr. Ripley?" replies Kitsune.

"No, that not it."

"Hamlet." says Daimyo Shi.

"Correct, you turn Shi-kun."

"Good, Bad, I am the one with the Gun!" says Daimyo Shi.

Kanako Laughs "Bruce Campbell Vs. the Army of Darkness"

"Oh, very good you even got the full title!" says Daimyo Shi.

"Ok try this one! "WHERE IS MY MONEY!'"

"That is easy, Kanako." says Kitsune "Payback!"

"Your turn then." says Kanako.

"Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answers."

"X-men!" says Shinobu.

"Good for you Shinobu, you seem to be quite good at this." says Kitsune.

"Is it secret? Is it safe?" says Shinobu.

"JFK?" says Motoko.

"Nope, senpai!" says a Smiling Shinobu.

"Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring!" says Mutsumi.

"That right Senpai."

"You're human." says Mutsumi in one voice, in another she says "Barely, I'm a lawyer."

"That easy," says Kanako with a smirk "Blade II"

"Oh, very good Kanako-chan!" says Mutsumi

"We have 84 rooms, why can't you sleep in the house?" says Kanako in a slight English accent.

"That easy! Lara Croft: Tomb Raider" says Shinobu.

"Very good Little one, You are very good for some one you age." says Kanako.

"You like swords, I like baseball" says Shinobu trying to sound like a man.

"Kill Bill Volume one!" says Motoko.

"Oh that was quick, sempai." remarks Shinobu.

"Light our darkest hour." says Motoko.

Everyone looks at her puzzled other than Daimyo Shi who smirks and Keitaro.

"Transformers: the Movie but Motoko when did you see it?" says Keitaro.

"Daimyo Shi has a copy, he showed it to me." says Motoko

"I kill you with my tea cup." says Keitaro is his best badass voice.

"Please Sempai get some harder ones, that Chronicles of Riddick." says Shinobu

Keitaro blinks twice "Uh, yeah that right . . . I will try my best."

"I don't tip." says Shinobu

"Reservoir dogs." says Kanako with a smirk

----------------------------------

Daimyo Shi and Kanako were locked in a heat L5R game. One of Kanako's provinces is under attack. Her Crab Clan forces were doing their best to defend it from the Crane attack. The huge Hida Kuon experienced 3, Himura Ashina, and Hida O-ushi with a Dai-ushi, Himura Archers, and a Hida House guard. Daimyo Shi's Attacking force had Kakita Toshimoko, Doji Korihito experienced 2 with a Shiryo no Kakita on him, Doji Reju and a Daidoji Uji. Kanako plays Heart of Rokugan, giving all of her personalities plus one force.

"You action Shi-san." says Kanako.

"Sure I shall bring in Daidoji Rekai from my home into battle shooting your Himura archers for her range attack." replies Daimyo Shi.

"Expected Shi-san, My action? I will Discard a card to make you discard one from your hand, Shi-san." replies Kanako with a slight smirk. Kanako discards a Gunso.

"Kuso, Kanako-chan." says Daimyo Shi as he discards a Karmatic Strike.

"Your action Shi-san."

"Ok I play Emperor Returns, 2 champions and one daimyo, that is plus three/ plus three for everyone."

"Ah! That is nasty, ok Kuon Test of Might Daidoji Uji" says Kanako with a bigger smirk.

"Ok I call strike you win that one." says Daimyo Shi as he bows Uji. "You want to play rough do you, Kanako-chan. Well then I shall Iaijutsu Duel you Kuon with my Doji Korihito."

"Kuso, I though you were out of those! Ok I focus."

"I will focus two cards from Shiryo no Kakita's ability." replies Daimyo Shi with a evil smirk.

"Focus." is Kanako's reply.

"Strike then, what is your focus total?" asks Daimyo Shi.

"Two Jade Pike men at 4 each so with Kuon's double chi it will be sixteen in total." replies Kanako.

"Well, my two focus card are Let Your Spirt Guide You, so with Korihito's Five personal honour they are eight each, with Kurohito's double Chi that will make then a total of Thirty-two" replies Daimyo Shi with an arrogant smirk.

"Kuso, Shi-San that is Brutal. Fine I shall Test of might Doji Reju with O-Ushi."

"Ok Strike, My action?" asks Daimyo Shi as he bows Doji Reju.

"Yes." replies Kanako.

"Ok then I shall play another The Emperor Returns for another plus three/plus three." says Daimyo Shi.

"Nani? Again?" says Kanako with surprise in her voice.

"Your action." says Daimyo Shi

"Go." growls Kanako

"Ok I discard the Imperial favour to move Kurohito to move him to you other province."

"Nani, but I have no one there. That means you take it and this one, that means I lose." snarls Kanako.

"Don't feel too bad Kanako-chan, after all you only been playing for a little while. Also, I taught you how to play.

------------------------------

Daimyo Shi is sitting at his computer typing and there is a knock at his door.

"Who is there?" asks Daimyo Shi.

"It is Naru."

"Alright come in." replies Daimyo Shi (I wonder what she wants?)

Naru comes in looking all red with rage.

"You have to do something about Keitaro. He is such a pervert. He came into the Hot Springs while I was in there naked." shouts Naru.

"Naru, it is 1:00 P.M. on a weekday and I know you are normally in a Class at Todai on this day of the week. Everyone else is at work or School, so likely Keitaro was just coming into the hot spring to make sure that the hot springs are clean for all you girls before you all got home." replies Daimyo Shi in a even handed voice.

"Well my class was cancelled to day. Why do you always take his side? You are the older man around her you should be defending us from Keitaro's perversion." Snarls Naru.

"Because you are a bitch, who always is taking advantage of Keitaro's affection for you and then thrashing him for what you see as perversions but in truth are accidents. It is not like you ever give him a chance to explain anything. Keitaro seems to have some very bad luck around you. Look if you can't make the connection I will draw you a fucken map, ok? Keitaro is madly in love with you. He take a bullet for you. In fact he likely would fight for the privilege of taking that bullet for you. He makes huge efforts to make you happy, to see you smile. What to you give him for all his hard work? You beat the ever loving shit out of him for the smallest misunderstandings. I hate bullies, Naru hence why I have such a poor opinion of you. I don't take his side because he is a guy or anything as crass as that I take his side because that it the side of justice. Trust me, Naru, if I though Keitaro was causing you or any of the other girls here harm, Keitaro and my katana would have had a long and serious discussion." snarls Daimyo Shi right back.

"But Keitaro is always trying to see me naked."

"Accidents will happen, Naru." replies Daimyo Shi "You have to stop and think about what has happened before you start hitting him. Trust me I tried to get him to take out other girls but he so in love with you he takes his lumps. It is not a nice thing to see happen to your friend. I suggest if you take some time to think about things Naru. You might be able to see things more clearly."

"I don't have to stand here and listen to this." says Naru.

"No you don't but if you were wise you would at least think about it." says Daimyo Shi as Naru storms down the hall. Daimyo Shi gets up and closes his door.

----------------------------

Keitaro, Daimyo Shi and Talon are sitting around the table in Keitaro's room drinking Bubble Tea.

"Daimyo Shi, I can't believe you bought a Bubble Tea set up for Hinata Sou, that must have cost a lot of money." says Keitaro as he sips on his Strawberry Bubble Tea.

"How could I not, I took Motoko for one, and she loved it." replies Daimyo Shi sipping on his own Green Apple Bubble Tea.

"Does everything you buy have something to do with Motoko?" says Talon with a sly smile.

" . . . Well . . . No, of course not." says Daimyo Shi.

"Yeah, just every second thing." says Keitaro.

"I see they come out with another OVA series for Tenchi Muyo." remarks Talon in an effort to move from the current line of questioning and the problems it could cause..

"Yeah, Ryoko is Hot!" says Keitaro. "I can't figure out why, Tenchi doesn't take her as his wife."

Both Talon and Daimyo Shi break out laughing.

Keitaro looks at them both, with a puzzled expression. "What is so funny?"

"You, complaining about Tenchi not taking Ryoko as his wife." says Daimyo Shi trying to control his laughter.

"Why? I don't understand." says Keitaro.

"Never mind." says Talon as he waves off Keitaro. "Anyway, there is nothing wrong with Ayeka."

Daimyo Shi laughs. "Come on she is a stuck up, arrogant Bitch."

"So is Ryoko just in a slightly different way." counters Talon with a chuckle

"You like Ryoko too, Daimyo Shi." asks Keitaro.

"Hai, Keitaro I think she is the best pick for Tenchi. She has spirit!" says Daimyo Shi.

There is a Knock at Keitaro's door.

"Come in." says Keitaro.

Kanako opens the door and is carrying a tray with sushi and sashimi. Kanako is dressed in a sleeveless blouse and a knee length skirt. Surprisingly both are blood red rather than her ususal Black.

"I brought you and your friends a snack." says Kanako with a smile.

"Thank you, Kanako-chan." replies Keitaro.

"Salmon, my favourite, thank you, Kanako." says Daimyo Shi as he grabs a piece with the Chopsticks.

"What are you guys talking about?" asks Kanako.

"Oh about what girl Tenchi should marry on Tenchi Muyo." says Talon as he takes up a pair of chopsticks.

"Really? Well, he should take Ryoko, she is Yummy!" remarks Kanako.

Keitaro, Daimyo Shi and Talon all blink twice.

"Well, Keitaro and I agree but Talon figures that it should be Ayeka." replies Daimyo Shi.

"Well it to be expected from Talon." remarks Kanako.

"Hey what do you mean by that?" Replies Talon bitterly.

"You never do pick the right person do you? I think not." replies a smirking Keitaro.

"Well . . . Neither do you." says Talon

"Whatever, you Keitaro wannabe." smirks Kanako.

"Hey what do you mean by that?" says Talon.

"I mean you clearly want to be my Onii-chan." remarks Kanako.

"Boy does that open up a long list of jokes." laughs Daimyo Shi.

"Really? Like?" asks Kanako.

"Well since he doesn't like Naru it means he would have a choice of all the other girls around here, even you, Kanako-chan" says Daimyo Shi with a Smirk.

"Hey! At least I don't wonder about Yaoi endings to scenes. (5)" shoots back Talon.

"Hey, that was a cheap shot." says Daimyo Shi crossly.

"You like Yaoi?" asks Keitaro.

"Of course not! It was a joke to bother Talon at the time." says Daimyo Shi defensively.

"Yaoi is terrible stuff." says Kanako with a look of distasted.

"Is that stuff you write about Motoko and Kanako, Yaoi?" asks Keitaro to Talon.

"No, of course not Yaoi is only Guy on Guy, Yuri would be Girl on Girl." replies Talon.

"I said it before, and I will say it again I would never sleep with a smelly tom-boy like Motoko." says Kanako flatly.

"Well I seem to recall the last time you said that you got smashed into a wall." says Daimyo Shi.

"Still regardless, there is nothing Wrong with Girl on Girl." says Talon.

"Agreed." replies Kanako.

"Kanako-chan, uh . . . but you are a girl." says Keitaro.

"I am open-minded kind of girl and I am sure these two Hentai would like to watch me do it." says Kanako.

"Hey, we are not like that." says Talon "Are we?" Talon looks at Daimyo Shi sipping on his Bubble tea holding a wooden sigh like Genma Saotome does in his panda form on which in Japanese is the words 'Guilty as Charged'

Talon sweat drops.

"Well, that was interesting." says Keitaro as he reaches for some tuna.

-----------------------------------

Motoko, Shinobu, Kanako and Daimyo Shi are crowded around Daimyo Shi's Computer.

"This 'Dawn of The Empire' Set is so cool!" says Kanako

"Kakita is so Kawaii!" says Shinobu.

"Is it just me or is odd that Lady Doji can likely take her husband in a duel." asks Motoko.

"Well she is the Kami of the Crane Clan, so she going to be good." says Daimyo Shi.

"She going to rock in my Crane open style Political Deck." says Motoko with a smirk.

"Hai, Motoko-chan, however my Hida shall stomp all over your foolish courtiers!" smirks Kanako.

"I have to attack for you to get him into play fast!" replies Motoko.

"Just remember Motoko that once you are over 15 family honour he also come into play." states Daimyo Shi.

"True."

"I think Bayushi-kun is the best Kami." says Shinobu.

"I knew you were a Closet Scorpion Shinobu. After all given you play that weird political duelling Dragon deck you made." says Motoko.

"Daimyo Shi, you think it will be hard to get this here in Japan?" asks Kanako.

"Nah, not problem I just have to the set order to my friend in Vancouver and he will express them to us." Replies Daimyo Shi.

"Cool!" says Shinobu.

-------------------------------------------------

Keitaro, Talon and Daimyo Shi are sitting in Daimyo Shi's room drinking Bubble tea.

"Hey, I was wondering can Motoko beat you in a fight?" asks Keitaro.

"Hmmm, Maybe, of course you have to factor in I be hard pressed to actually fight her at full tilt." says Daimyo Shi taking a sip of his Green apple Bubble Tea.

"Why is that?" asks Keitaro as he sips on his taro bubble tea.

"Well, you see . . . I . . . " stammers Daimyo Shi.

"What he having trouble saying is that he in love with Motoko." says Talon.

"Oh, so you rather let her beat you up?" says Keitaro.

"Well Likely, I mean if she not trying to kill me, probably."

"You two are quite the pair, letting women beat you up like that." laughs Talon.

"You say it, like it a bad thing." replies Daimyo Shi with a smirk.

Keitaro gives a little nods and replies with a smirk of his own.

Talon double blinks. "Woah, you guys are disturbed." responds Talon.

"Really you try it some time Talon. It a very interesting sensation." says Keitaro.

"Really the next thing you be telling me is that you like them to tie you up." says Talon.

"Well I always had that flash of doom where I tied up just before Naru hits me. It could be a manifestation of some kind of Psychological interest in such activities." responds Keitaro. "Of course it would be atypical for a Japanese Man. At least according to the studies I seen in my deviant behaviour Psychology class."

"This is true, Motoko in black leather . . ." Daimyo Shi blanks out for a moment.

Talon blinks twice and then twice again. "Can we move this to conversation to something a little less Henteish?" asks Talon.

"Well we could but it be less fun." says Keitaro.

"You know I recall days in my college years where a number of us had a very long discussion about sex and it more adventurous forms." says Daimyo Shi

"You are kidding? Just a bunch of guys?" asks Talon.

"No some girls too, they had some interesting comment in fact they were much more dirtier than we expected. It was a very interesting discussion. Though finding out what a girl likes is useless if she has a boyfriend, doubly so if he is in the room at the time." remarks Daimyo Shi.

"Well you have a point there. Sounds like you have a interesting group of friends." remarks Keitaro.

"Well yeah, hard to keep in touch with them all." says Daimyo Shi.

---------------------------------

Well I thought this would be a good place to explain how I see certain characters in Love Hina as I sort of have a body of work to overview. After all this is my Random set of postings anyway.

Keitaro: I think of any character save Hakaru, Keitaro is pretty much the same as the series. He is the loveable loser and is deeply in love with Naru (well except when do something that alternate pairing generally by having another of the Hinata Sou girls confess their love.) That aside Keitaro is a bumbling Todai student in archeology. The only real addition to his character is a love of Roleplaying Games, which other than the Final fantasy thing in Episode 8, is not shown, and hints at masochism. Of course, I rarely directly challenge Keitaro's belief that Naru is his promised girl. I might believe that he wrong (I am after all convinced that Mutsumi is his promised girl.)

Naru: Well often Naru is a half hearted villain in my stories, often she strings along Keitaro in my stories because it amuse her to do so. She is a bully, Occasionally she shows some form of affection for Keitaro but generally exploits his affection. I don't like Naru so I will admit that I right her character a little evil. My Naru is different from the series, she likely make a good budding Domatrix if it was not for the fact that I keep her from coming to terms with her sexuality. I always seen Naru as being slightly insecure about herself which really is the only reason she doesn't resolve her feeling about Keitaro. Naru get caught in the idea of have finally having a boyfriend in Keitaro or thinking she attractive enough to land a "Better Boyfriend." Of course it just a theory, it could be something else, but this theory works for me. The long and the short of it is that I don't like her.

Mutsumi: Mutsumi is Princess, it baffles me how Keitaro can resist this incredibly beautiful, kind and thoughtful woman. I still write pretty much as she is in the series just with occasionally more assertiveness when dealing with her love for Keitaro. When I appear in the story I tend to actively help Mutsumi get Keitaro, either through devious plans or at least suggesting to Keitaro how much better Mutsumi is compared with Naru. I tend to not make a big deal about Mutsumi's Anaemia, so it happens more rarely. My Mutsumi has no issues with her own sexuality or appearance, she content with herself and has choose Keitaro because she truly loves him (and/or she is actually his promised girl, though in the series is seems to be that she doesn't remember it any clear than Keitaro.) I favour Mutsumi greatly, though my personal choice is below.

Motoko: Motoko is, well a bit of a problem to write for especially when I self insert. I confess that I very fond of Motoko, so I tend to have certain limitations on how I write her. I try to keep the calm, cool Kenjutsu practiser from the series but I often find myself developing other interests for her and expanding her personality to match what I like. It is a byproduct of her having more story time than in the series, not to say she a minor character in the Series but Motoko does get more stories about her from me than the series.

Shinobu: Shinobu is the character I have tinkered with the most. She is the shy reserved girl with her first crush being on Keitaro. I guess I found her to be a little one dimensional so I added the idea that she not as innocent as she appears. To that end, I have her read Shonen Manga, watch Violent anime and US Movies, and everyone simply shakes it off and forgets they saw it until the next time.

Kanako: I play Kanako from a lot more sympathetic angle, In ways I see her as a female version of Keitaro. She never really had friends, and only her brother. If you read earlier in this set of random stories you would have read my conclusion on Kanako's feeling with her brother. I like to play down the sexual part of those feeling, largely because I don't think they are what important, but that Kanako loves her brother more than anything. She will die to defend him if necessary. She strangely noble and in her own way honourable. She also the only other Person in Love Hina skilled in martial art in my opinion, the Inn's resident Ninja when necessary. Because of this I think most people who read my story would identify as the most changed character in my stories. I personally think I simply tweaked what was already there. Oh and I like to imply that Kanako is Bi-sexually if only because it makes for some good jokes.

Su: Su is the hardest Character to write for. I have real trouble getting her into any of my stories so I either write her out (I think she been on more Science fairs than Japan has had in the last ten years.) Or I ignore her and just leave her out. I sorry to Su fans I just never can write for her.

Kitsune: Kitsune is pretty much the Stock sly girl with a fox like grin. She drinks, plays tricks and tries to get Naru and Keitaro together. In my stories that have change girls who confess their love, she often (I been told uncharacteristically, by many) simply accepts her loss and often blames Naru for the loss (justifiably I might add). I honestly believe that Kitsune really likes Keitaro and know he had a poor shot at life. She feels sorry for him and tries to help him when she can. She still plays jokes on him, indeed I don't think anyone is truly immune to her other than Haruka.

Seta: Seta is basically window dressing when he appears, I never liked the character much so he tends to only appear when I need some to be the adult next to Haruka. Or I need to try someone vampiric powers on.

Haruka: Haruka is the mature advice giver to the group, she can walk into World war three and not bat an eye. Ironically the only times she raises an eyebrow is a lack of chaos when I introduce Legend of the Five rings to everyone. When things threaten to completely get out of hand. Haruka appears and set things straight.

Kentaro: Can you say victim of the week? I knew you could. Kentaro on come around in my stories to be Maimed, doesn't matter who does it. If he appears generally in will be chased for some reason and have the ever loving crap beaten out of him.

I should mention two other Characters Daimyo Shi and Talon.

Of course Daimyo Shi is an ideal version of myself, I not a true kenjutsu master and I don't really have the money that I tend to have in myself insert stories but what can I say, they are really just minor corrections anyway. I try to be as true to myself as I can be. Some people complain in Shinobu's Wish when I get into and "unnecessary fight" in response to the fondling of the newly sexy Shinobu. I protective of any woman 'under my care' I am in real life so as I am in my stories. It was simply a show that I not perfect and to be true to myself. I also wanted to deal with the matter of int imperfectness of any society. In the Love Hina Christmas special Motoko got caught in a similar situation. Generally Daimyo Shi acts in a manner that I would in the same Situation. So he is pretty much me personality wise.

Talon is a different case he a fellow fan fiction author, and likely the reason I like do self inserts. So blame him if you don't like them. I can't say I know Talon well, but generally he similar in his desire for Mutsumi and Keitaro to hook up. He write comedy mostly with a little drama. In my stories he simple is the Straight man for Daimyo Shi, he also acts as the more moral and/or ethical of the two of us. This really stems from the fact he ten years younger from be and generally just is quite as jade as I am. Whether or not that true is something that can be debated. I really know that he never complained about any of the words I put in his mouth.

I should touch on one other thing.

Legend of the Five Rings is a Collectible Card Game that I like. It based in a Japanese and Chinese mixed fantasy world and generally is a great yet complex card game. I really enjoy it, and originally included it to make a joke or two but as I write I find more ways to put it in, thus had I undercurrent of jokes that many just don't get unless they have played. You can find the publisher's web site at http/ love these don't you?

(1) This is a tip of the hat to AJ Andreason's Story 'Agent of Chaos' which is wonderful Ranma ½ fan fiction. Who really needs to finish the story up!

(2) Legend of the Five Rings is a Collectible Card Game that is based in a world much like Tokugawa Japan. It is a every complicate and rewarding game. I really think Motoko would like it. to learn more you can hit the Web site of the publisher AEG. The web site address is http/l5r. Consider this Fic to be in the current year which would make Shinobu much older. Oh I never read the manga up to the marriage point so I never write that Naru and Keitaro are married. Besides marriage ruins all the fun ;-)

(4) You really got to see these they are so interesting that the best description I can think of.

(5) See the Second Chapter of Shinobu's Wish for the source of this comment

Japanese Terms

nani: What

Aku Soku Zan: According to Rurounin Kenshin it was the Shinsengumi's motto it means Evil Slay swiftly

Hai yes

Daifuku a red bean filled rice cake, quite sticky and very sweet. The only thing that a westerner will find odd about it is having bean skins in the red bean paste in it.

Onii-chan: Big brother

-chan, honorific means small or little often used between parents and children, sometime between friends can be use between lovers too.

-kun, Sort of a male version of Chan but more masculine often used between friends Shi and older people to boys that they know. Kei-kun is a favourite of Mutsumi for Keitaro.

San is Mister or Miss, a polite way to address an inferior or an equal. Note that both this and sama are used with a family name which in Japan comes first

Senpei: senior student

Sensei: Teacher or Professionals, often doctors are called Sensei too.


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